The other day I overheard a few people talking about relationships. They were discussing what they sacrificed to be with their romantic partners, what they’d given to them materially and emotionally, and what they were or weren’t getting in return. I chuckled to myself as I listened. I’d forgotten about those comments until this morning when a song triggered memories of my past relationships. Then I got to hear, for the umpteenth time, the delusional stories in my head that have been repeating for years.
“I did blah, blah, blah.”
“They could have done more blah, blah, blah.”
“Why didn’t blah, blah, blah?”
Thankfully, I caught the negative loop leak quickly, and had a good laugh at my own expense.
Diving into a meditative inquiry about the mildly disruptive and amusing thoughts, I came away with this inner wisdom:
‘Notice when your thoughts move you toward believing that you should do, or give, or be anything but the authentically quiet, peaceful, compassionate, kind, understanding, and generous (without expectation!) self that you truly know yourself to be. It’s actually quite simple to detect when anything but peace and love appear in your mind. You are quite familiar with the negative emotions, and bodily reactions that manifest when you dip your toes into distracting, and worn out patterns of thought and belief. Very simply: Does it feel good to be thinking those thoughts? Stop. Look. Listen. ASK yourself what would feel better. If you think the answer is outside of you, think again, and again, and again, and again until you comeback to the TRUTH that you are.’